Daily Jokes: No Matter How
1. π No matter how
beautiful and
handsome you are ,
just remember
Baboon and Gorillas
also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌
2.π No matter how
big and strong
you are ,
you will not
carry yourself
to your Grave .
✌Be Humble✌
3.π No matter
how tall you are ,
you can
never see tomorrow .
✌Be Patient✌
4.π No matter how
Light Skinned you
are , you will
always need
light in Darkness .
✌Take Caution ✌
5.π No matter how
Rich and many
Cars you have ,
you will always
Walk to Bed πππππ
✌Be Contented✌
Take Life Easy .
Life is short
(2)
WHAT A LIFE WE LIVE
Have u taken Note of the CO-INCIDENCE OF LIFE:
1. CHURCH has 6 letters so does MOSQUE.
2. BIBLE has 5 letters so does QURAN.
3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD.
4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE....
5. ENEMIES has 7, so does FRIENDS.
6. LYING has 5, so does TRUTH.
7. HURT has 4, so does HEAL.
8. NEGATIVE has 8, so does POSITIVE.
9. FAILURE has 7, so does SUCCESS.
10. BELOW has 5, but so does ABOVE.
11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY.
12. ANGER has 5 so does HAPPY.
13. RIGHT has 5 so does WRONG.
14. RICH has 4 so does POOR.
15. FAIL has 4 so does PASS
16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 so does IGNORANCE.
Are they all by Co-incidence?
We should Choose wisely, this
means LIFE is like a Double-Edged Sword.
If u think it is your alarm clock that woke you up this morning, try putting it beside a dead body and you will realise that it is the Grace of God that woke you up.
If you are grateful to God, forward/Share this to all your friends to inform that it is JUST BY THE GRACE OF GOD that we are alive.
(3)
IF YOU TRUELLY LOVE YOUR MOM
¤ When you were born, your mother spent hours
giving birth to you; you thanked her by crying every
night in the middle of her sleep
¤ When you were 4;
Your mother bought you ice-
cream; you thanked her by dropping it all over the floor.
¤ When you were 6;
Your mother used to drive you to
school; you thanked her by closing the car door and
not even looking back.
¤ When you were 10;
Your mother paid for music
lessons; you thanked her for not even bothering to
practice.
¤ When you were 12;
Your mother paid for summer
campt; you thanked her by not even writing one
single letter.
¤ When you were 13;
Your mother took you and your
freinds to the movies; you thanked her by asking her
to sit on a different row.
¤ When you were 15;
Your mother was waiting for an
important phone call; you thanked her by being on
the phone all day.
¤ When you were 17;
Your mother cried on your
graduation day; you thanked her by partying out
with your freinds all night; and not even phoning/calling her
to tell her that your okay.
¤ When you were 18;
Your mother carried all your
bags and stuff to your college campus; you thanked
her by telling her to go away as you was
embarrassed in front of your friends.
¤ When you were 20;
You got married and your
mother cried of happiness on your wedding; you
thanked her by moving half way across the country
& not bothering to keep in touch
¤ When you were 30;
Your mother was old and asked
you to take care of her you thanked her by telling
her that shes annoying and old people should stop
being such a pressure on their children.
¤ Then suddenly one day; your mother quitely died;
and everything that you didn't do came rushing back
and hit you like a crash of thunder on your heart.
Cherish and respect your mother while you have the
chance...
You will come to Cry when she is Gone.
Remember: we only have one mom.
(4)
True story: from Naija-Power
I once dated a brunette who sported an awesome pair of DD bo¤bies.
One day she admitted to me that her supple melons weren't "natural". "I was size B before I made them bigger," she quipped.
Apparently she got them enlarged because it made her life about 1,000% easier.
Guys would bend over backwards and cater to her every whim and fancy. Waiters would be rushing to take her order first before anyone else. And it was much easier to hail a cab wherever she was, even in New York City.
You'll notice that:
1. She's still the same person, only with bigger bo¤bs.
2. She enjoys the "perks" that she won't otherwise get if she had smaller bo¤bs.
The fact is that every woman does the same thing. They dye their hair blond. They go on diet to shed off the tummy flab. They wear makeup. They get bo¤b jobs.
Why go through the trouble? Because they know (consciously or subconsciously) that guys give special treatment to beautiful females.
Women are usually smart enough to fully use their assets to get their way in life. Guys, however, are a different story.
The lesson?
If you've got an asset that you can use to gain an advantage over women, use it. There's no point hiding it, or feeling wimpy about using it.
After all, women are doing the same thing to you, whether you know it or not.
So, what if you don't have anything special in hand which you can use as an unfair advantage? Fret not, for I've got your back.
Understand that while women manipulate men through their looks, men can manipulate women in turn by playing mind games on them.
Therefore, the biggest asset that you will want to have is the ability to pinpoint a woman's biggest weakness (inside her mind)... and to exploit that weakness so that she surrenders to you, physically and emotionally.
The good news is that this skill is easily acquired today as long as you know where to find it.
Careful: before you click on this link below, understand that you'll be reading some of the most un-politically
(5)
Two ghosts met and both chat
about how they died.
1st ghost : How did you die?
2nd ghost : I died of cold.
1st ghost : How does it feel
when you're
dying in cold?
2nd ghost : Actually, I was
accidentally locked in the
refrigerator.
Initially, I was shivering, then
my whole
body started to freeze, later
I felt the whole world was dark
and I died
suffocating.
1st ghost : Wow what a
horrible way to die.
2nd ghost : How about you?
How did you
die?
1st ghost : I died from heart
attack.
2nd ghost : I see, why did you
have a heart
attack?
1st ghost : Actually, I found out
that my
wife is having an affair with
another man.
One day, when I came back
from work,
saw a pair of man shoes
outside my
house.
Then, I realized that the guy
was in my
house with my wife.
When I
rushed into
the bedroom, my wife was
alone.
I must
find where that bastard is
hiding.
So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the store room, but the bastard
was not there.
So, I ran upstairs and searched
the wardrobe, but I
found nothing.
Because of all
that running, I got a heart attack and died.
2nd ghost : Why didn't you look
for the bastard in the fridge?
The bastard was hiding there.
We won't have died by now!!..... πππ
ENJOY❗
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